May’s Theme: The Inner Game of Social Eating:
May is here! We have made it through the winter hibernation season, tax season and now it’s time to enjoy the flowers of spring and the promise of summer. May also marks the beginning of social eating season which can be a challenge when we are trying to get in shape for the summer.
Research shows that often we nearly double our consumption of calories while in social situations. Social Eating is a huge part of life and especially in the warm summer months when weddings, graduations, weekend BBQs, picnics and group restaurant events abound. I know that I have some sort of social event happening every weekend between now and July 4th!
That is why
I have explored in this month’s weight mastery coaching session some key
thinking and behavioral strategies to navigate these social scenarios with
mastery so that you can continue your weight release.
D.U.I. (Dining Under the Influence of
Thin Thinking)Fat Thinking Crime Report:
It all seemed so innocent in the beginning. Mary got invited to a friend’s Memorial Day
BBQ and was excited. She had been losing
some weight and hoped to keep going in preparation for the summer. In her mind she briefly thought about the
party and the impact that it might have on her “diet”. “Oh, I’ve been so good recently” she thought,
“it will be easy to be good at the BBQ—I’ll just have some chicken and a little
salad and that will be that.”
Mary stopped
at the store to pick the cupcakes for her friend Nancy, the hostess who had
asked that she bring a dessert. “I won’t eat any of these, but I am sure other
people will like them,” she said to herself as she walked in the front door of
Nancy’s home.
Mary headed
into the backyard where the BBQ gathering was going full blast. Nancy’s husband Jim immediately handed Mary a
cocktail. Mary tells Jim, "no thanks" but
Jim insists, “C’mon Mary I made up the recipe—try it!” Mary, not wanting to let Jim down tried a
sip. Even though it really wasn’t her
type of drink and even though she didn’t plan to drink anything Mary continued
to drink it, “I’ll just have this drink and some chicken and salad and that
will be that.”
Pretty soon the sugar and the alcohol in the
cocktail began hitting Mary’s empty stomach and did two things to Mary.
1) It makes her all of a sudden very
hungry as her blood sugar spiked and then dropped.
2) Because of the sugar on her empty
stomach she also wants “something more” more sugars—more carbs—the little carb
monster has been awakened and of a sudden Mary is a little more interested in
all the food that is on the buffet table—all of it except the chicken and salad,
that is.
Mary now
heads over to where her friends are standing by the chips and guacamole. As they chatted Mary is compelled to munch
the chips along with her pals. She
mindlessly eats quite a few and realizes what she has done. Now a voice goes off in her head, “you blew
it Mary! This party is a write off so
you may as well hit the buffet and have at it.”--which she does.
Two hours
later Mary has been through the buffet table twice and has eaten her fair share
of some pies and cookies from the dessert table. She had to try that lemon meringue—her friend
Sue insisted-- and the cookies, well they just ended up in her mouth somehow...Mary’s
intentions of just eating that chicken and salad plan was now a faint memory in her
distant past. Her head was spinning as she left Nancy’s house. Nancy manages
to hand Mary the leftover cupcakes that she brought as she heads out the
door. Nancy says, “you take them Mary, I’ll
just eat them if they stay here.”
Mary headed
home ready to crash , feeling mad at herself for not being good. So mad at herself she managed to eat a few of
the cupcakes from the party as she stood at the kitchen sink thinking about her behavior.
She headed to
bed, feeling like a failure and knowing that she will never be thin. It’s an all too familiar crime scene—dining under
the influence of fat thinking and one that can simply avoided if Mary had just
SHIFTED into some thin thinking instead.
How to SHIFT into THIN Thinking in
Social Situations
Mary was
guilty of a number of fat thinking misdemeanors in the story above. Let’s break the social eating crime scene
down and offer some Thin Thinking Alternatives.
THE POWER OF PLANNING AHEAD
In the story
above Mary did very little planning before the party. Because she was on a “diet” she assumed that
she was going to be “good” and eat only a salad and chicken. Her lack of preparing both mentally and
physically was the main reason that she ended up losing control and
overeating.
Planning
ahead is the cornerstone of weight mastery.
Why—thinking the day through allows your brain to recognize potential
challenges and practice strategies beforehand before you find yourself in the
overwhelming stimulation of an event and all the social pressures that go with
it.
Here are some things you can do to
prepare to succeed at a social event:
1-Create
a vision: Know what you want to feel like at the end of the event— what you
want to feel like in your body, in your clothes, and in your mind. Create a specific picture—make it so real you
can feel it and get excited about it.
This engages your brain in going to work with you to achieve your
vision.
-Bank
(save up) calories ahead of time for the event or exercise before the event and
burn some extra calories. This way
you have some room in your calorie budget to eat more than just chicken and
salad which is more realistic and enjoyable.
-Bring a
salad or vegetable instead of a dessert—even if no one else wants it or
eats it –you can!
-Practice responses to food pushers ahead of time. It’s hard to say no to zealous hosts, but sometimes you have to in order to achieve your desired outcome. (here are some good responses below)
-Practice responses to food pushers ahead of time. It’s hard to say no to zealous hosts, but sometimes you have to in order to achieve your desired outcome. (here are some good responses below)
“No thank
you.”‘I am
already full, but thanks. You did a
great job with this party…(change the subject fast).”
“No more
please, but hey let me help you clean up a bit”
“I have a
metabolic condition and that keeps me from eating that. Sorry, but it looks delicious!”
“I have
noticed that sugar and flour causes blood sugar issues for me so I am going to
pass.”
“I am
allergic but sorry that looks great!”
“Wow that
looks tasty but I am sugar sensitive and if I overindulge I feel awful the next
day (you don’t have to tell them awful means guilty or regretful).
“That looks
amazing—did you make that? Wow. I am going to pass but thanks for offering!”
MASTERING
THE SOCIAL EVENT
Mary got to
the event and immediately fell prey to external circumstances. Because you will have prepared you will do
much better but here are some more strategies to employ while at the party
itself.
-Focus on
people and not on food: Have a goal to speak to 5 people
at the party or to help out the hostess.
If you do not have a plan, the world has one for you and it probably
means overeating—so ask yourself what is your people mission for the party and
carry it out—allow the food to be in the background of the event.
-Steer
clear of the buffet table and have conversation away from food.
-Have a
plan if you plan to drink and keep it light—drinking water in between and
never drink on an empty stomach!
-Move:
help out the hostess, get a game of ball going with the kids, ask some people
there if they want to go for a walk before or after eating.
-Scope
out the buffet table before eating and focus on the greens and lean proteins
and fruits. For the more densely caloric
comfort foods –use the 3-bite rule of thumb—especially at the dessert table.
-After
eating help clean up—it’s a great way to help your hosts and to mingle—and
you will be too busy to go back for seconds.
AFTER THE
PARTY
Mary also
failed to take care of herself when she came home and ended up eating even
more. Here are some tips on the
post-party head game.
-Do not
bring food home: Hostesses love to
give out dessert to take home—don’t take it!
Better it ends up in the trash than in your mouth.
-Plan you
coming home strategy so it doesn’t end up being you in front of the fridge. Many people eat after social events not out
of hunger but because it’s an automatic response to rewinding from social
stress.
-Record
what you ate at the party to keep yourself out of the “I blew it head”
chances are you didn’t go over your
calories and if you did, you can now strategize a way to compensate or to be
okay with going over (which is not the end of the world).
-Review:
learn from the event—what worked well for you—what didn’t and what solutions
can you create for next time? See this
as a learning curve that you will master.
Now you are
set and ready for the social season! I
hope you have a fabulous May and don’t forget your Dining under the influence
of Thin Thinking skills---and your white shoes come Memorial day of course!
No comments:
Post a Comment