Also Coming: New Shift Mastery Member's Circle--A Monthly Subscription Support Group--get weekly support, coaching, and inspiration with a group that holds you accountable.
Dear Shifters,
How much support do you have in your journey to weight loss and maintenance?
Twice a week my 10 year old daughter and I go out for a run/walk. This is a pretty new habit. We started this about 4 months ago to prepare for the Shift Kids 5 K run and it just stuck. We have a great time, she and I, going for a jog with our dog Mac in the 'hood near our home. It's solid mother daughter time and the best time to talk about "things". One thing we talk about is being healthy as my daughter is at the age where she is noticing what her friends eat and also what their developing bodies look like and has lots of questions. I am glad to have the answers to the questions and to give feedback in this non-stressed atmosphere. It is nice to spend quality time that adds another dimension to our relationship and best of all--my daughter is ONE TOUGH COACH!!!! I say--"hmmm I worked hard today what do you say we take the shorter route today?" and she will reply , "C'mon mom--you know how much better we feel going 3 miles, the other route is for wimps!" I don't want to be seen as a wimp and I hop to it, and you know what, she is right, we feel so much better going the longer route.
Having support in your long term journey to weight release is critical. Studies show that people who have support groups get twice the results and keep the weight off twice as long.
This week I interviewed Leslie and Lauren, two fabulous Shifted women from Irvine who not only own a successful business together, but did the Shift 30 Day Weight Mastery Process together and have released a combined 70 lbs so far! This interview is chock full of motivation and inspiration and great ideas for how to support can really add an advantage to your weight release success! Give it a listen--you can also download it to listen to later.
70lbs worth of support interview
By asking those in your life for support it will help you to create a powerful team around you that will add to your mastery for the long term because you are investing in a vision together. This partnership of health creates a synergy that is powerful and paves the way for lasting results. When you just tell people you are starting on some “plan,” you are more or less giving them a ticket to the “watch me either fail or succeed show” which makes you feel lonely and them excluded.
What is
the best way to ask someone to support you, especially those people who may be
resistant to help or may have even sabotaged you in the past?
The
following HAMBURGER TECHNIQUE is a solid method because it keeps the person you
are asking out of the defensive, “not another diet!” mode and really invites
them to join you in something special.
Here is
a scenario: Jane, the company bookkeeper, brings in densely caloric baked goods
every week that everyone eats but nobody feels good about.
1)
TOP SOFT BUN: The soft bun is your initial approach and tone in
asking for support. The soft bun
approach, i.e. lightness and sweetness keeps the person you are asking out of
the defensive “what do you want now?” mode.
Tell the person how much they mean to you, how great you think they are,
and how supportive they are already in your life (even if you don’t think they
are that supportive if you tell them they are and give them an example) this
will really open them up to listening to you with new ears.
Example:
“Hey Jane, you are so great. Everyone
here at the office just thinks you are so generous, bringing in those
home-baked treats every week. I want to
let you know how generous I think you are and what a great baker you are, too.”
2)
THE MEATY MIDDLE (OR VEGETARIAN BURGER MIDDLE): This meaty middle
is now the time to make your request.
When you do this make sure you are focusing on yourself and the changes
you want to make and not on them and their problems. Invite them to help you, to be on your team
in some way.
Example:
“So Jane, I was wondering if you could help me.
I am starting to make some healthy changes and one of the things I need
to make changes in is trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, and I was
wondering, since you cook and bring stuff in every week, if you had any ideas
for bringing in fruits and vegetables to snack on? Do you have any ideas for snacks that have
less sugar and fat? What are your
favorite fruits and vegetables? What
kinds could I bring in that you would like to eat as well so that we can make
it an office project to eat more fruits and vegetables?”
3)
SOFT BUN BOTTOM: The soft finish.
Now that you have made your request, finish it with more softness and
praise.
Example:
“Thanks Jane, I knew I was right in coming to you first. You are a great problem solver and those are
great ideas. I am so much more excited
now that I have some ideas from you and that you are going to help me on this
project. Do you know who else might be interested in joining us? Great!
I am so glad we had this chat. Thanks! I look forward to getting
healthier with you.”
Do:
Think through your request ahead of time.
This will help you feel confident in asking.
Do:
Keep things on your side of the street, the support is for you.
Don’t :
Blame them or make it about them and the fact that you may think they are
unhealthy, too.
Okay,
so there you have it, a three-step request for support, hot off the grill, that
you can begin to implement into your own life starting today (ketchup, mustard,
and pickles are optional). Turn the
numbers to your favor, and start turning those saboteurs into your biggest
allies on your journey to weight mastery today!
To whom
are you going to give your first hamburger??
oxox Rita
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