Shift Weekly: What were you Expecting?!

Sometimes the best offensive coaching is defensive coaching. 

Overwhelm is a big reason we struggle with our weight.  When are trying to be perfect on a diet our Inner Critic is running the show—“You’ve got to do it perfectly!” it screams at us, and so we comply doing our best, feeling pressured to do it right as well as doing everything else right in our life too.

The “I have got to do everything on my list and take care of everyone and thing and do perfectly on a diet list”  is a very long list!!!—burdens us down.  In fact, you might call it the “Fat List”. The “Fat List” causes the brain to go into overwhelm mode. “help, this is too much, ahhhhh!”  So guess what, the Inner Rebel steps in to make things better “Forget it, this is crazy—this diet sucks—you have too much going on and you blew it anyways, start again next Monday when you won’t be so stressed”. So we let the diet go and once we have done that it’s a free for all eating fest until the following Monday.

When we SHIFT and begin to really become masterful at using our Inner Coach instead of the Inner Critic or the Inner Rebel—we can begin to notice the red flag of overwhelm. If you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed the first question to ask yourself is, “what is my expectation right now”—chances are the expectation is too big and is freaking your unconscious mind out a bit.  Now that you have become conscious of what you are “in overwhelm” about, begin cutting down that list of expectations until you start to calm down.  Move items to the “I can do that tomorrow” list, delegate tasks to others, mark certain items “not to be thought about until next month”.  In short—create the “Skinny” version of the “Fat List” and feel the Shift in thinking beginning to sooth you from within. Learning to Shift your perception of what is enough for you to be “okay”—enough to feel loved to enough to feel safe— enough to feel secure and in control is an important skill on your journey to long term permanent weight release. 

Here is a Shift coaching challenge for you this week.

1) Observe the times, people and places that you allow to keep you from setting yourself up for weight release success: making something or someone else a priority over exercise, allowing crappy trigger food to be within your grasp, letting someone else’s need take priority over basic self-care for yourself, allowing your circumstances to keep you from having healthy food around that make your body thrive.

2) Make a list of these times, people or places. 

3) During a neutral time--take out the “Fat List” and begin to look at each overwhelm challenge and engage your imagination in one way that you can change your relationship to it—meaning ask yourself, “why is this particular thing on my list more important than my taking care of myself?”.  Then begin to Shift your relationship in your head to that overwhelm challenge and begin to come up with a solution that would allow you to put self care first.  Is that item on your list really that important to do now—or does it just seem that way?  Maybe in a new light, with an Inner Coach talking your through your list, those HAVE TOS and MUSTS become less pertinent compared to your feeling good in your body because you are making healthy choices and exercising.  Look, I know it’s nice to cross things off the “to do” list, but if the first thing you are crossing off every day is “being health and showing up for myself” then maybe you need to re-think that list and come up with some new solutions.  Really visualize the solution response happening as if it were real. You will be creating a new alternative route in your brain circuitry for a different response.  But you must use the new route or it will go away!  Practice, practice, practice showing up yourself first before the other things on your list!

4) Try this  new response at least 3 times this week.

We usually gain weight with the same foods in the same places at the same times so this little Skinny List” could make a big difference in your long-term success.

Have a calmmmmm week Shifters.

Rita ox