SHIFT EVENT Coming up Saturday February 25th: Shift Support Saturday from 10-11:30 am
Topic: Moving into Spring—focus on exercise strategies and moving past resistance. Cost $25 for non-series participants.
Dear Shifters,
As we head into the final stretch of darker winter days, I sometimes hear darker rumblings from my clients too as they are feeling the effects of the ongoing shorter daylight hours and the wild weather swings which can trigger some heavier feelings, especially if the scale is moving more slowly than they would like. The arising challenges can feel, to some, like they are treading on the same path over and over again.
"Why am I here again--it feels like I keep coming back to the same place!" a client will wail--"it seems like I get going and do well for a while but then it gets hard again and I basically feel like I am starting over."
Sometimes when a client gets a ways into their weight mastery journey, they may hit a tough patch or a plateau and it feels, to them, like they have made no head way in their journey to long term permanent weight release. But, ironically, this feeling of going around and around can actually mean great progress. I remind them that “making the Shift” , as with any sort of mastery process or evolution, is like peeling the layers away from an onion. We get a ways into our mastery by practicing the skills and developing our Inner Coach and as soon as our unconscious mind thinks we are ready, it allows more challenges to surface for us to face and conquer.
Though this “cycling down” may stink and can make you cry with frustration, this is good news because you are actually not in the same place(as you may have been feeling) but further along in your Shift--another layer down, dealing with the same issue on a deeper level.
Eventually you will get to the heart of your issues and the stinkiness and tears of frustration will give way to the smell of mastery accompanied by tears of joy and pride in your accomplishment. So enjoy the stink--it may get stinkier yet--but the stinkier it gets--the stronger your powerful Inner Coach becomes in his or her ability to see you though to your ideal weight and long term weight release because the road have been cleared of the things that used to make you gain weight back in the past. So bring on the onion and enjoy every tangy bite of learning and loving your way down the scale.
Shift Coaching for the Week:
Let me teach you a powerful cognitive tool called EFFECTIVE PRAISE. You see, we spend a lot of our time collecting evidence that goes into one big file folder in our mind marked “I WILL NEVER BE THIN”. In this think and heavy folder you will find such beliefs as, "I have a slow metabolism", "I get bored with healthy food", "I need food to cope", " I am a sugar addict!" Unfortunately we usually have very little evidence collected that we will succeed at long term permanent weight release. In fact, where in the heck is that file folder marked “I CAN AND WILL LIVE MY LIFE AT MY IDEAL WEIGHT”? It’s kind of hard to find at all, huh? Well, effective praise helps you move the evidence from the “I WILL NEVER BE THIN” folder--to the “YES I CAN AND WILL LIVE MY LIFE AT MY IDEAL WEIGHT” folder.
Effective praise simply is observing all the behaviors that you are implementing and that take you closer to weight mastery (no matter how small and insignificant they may seem) and taking notice of those behaviors or changes to yourself. Not evaluating the behaviors--evaluating your own behaviors actually makes you nervous on a deep level—“oh I was “so good because I pushed the plate away”--or I was “so good because I exercised”. Yes, it's nice to acknowledge ourselves positively, but when we label our behavior as “good”, or any other evaluative type of praise, it makes our unconscious a little nervous. Why? Because on an unconscious level we just do not buy into that we have been “good” in any way, shape or form. We tend to reject the sing-songy “I was good” praise as white noise so nothing gets stored in the positive evidence folder. REJECTED! says our unconscious--you aren't "good" says our Inner Critic, “who are you trying to kid?”
However, if we instead just take notice of the behavior itself without the “good” then things begin to sink into the murky depths where those evidence files are stored:-"hmm I am noticing that I pushed the plate away and there was food left on it, maybe I don’t need as much food as I thought before--I am noticing I don't need to eat everything to feel full". Our unconscious then perks up its ears and takes note, “ that’s interesting--let me store that in my file folder YES I CAN AND WILL LIVE MY LIFE AT MY IDEAL WEIGHT ” . Hmmm I am noticing that if I just get up and put my feet right into some sneakers and stand up-- I can get out of bed in the morning and go out for a walk first thing and it feels wonderful!". Hmm the unconscious mind says, very interesting, we can follow through on exercise--let me go take that “I hate exercise” belief out of the I WILL NEVER BE THIN file folder and put “I enjoy exercise into that YES I CAN AND WILL LIVE MY LIFE AT MY IDEAL WEIGHT ” folder.
Try praising yourself 10 times a day this week. It’s easy. You will feel a Shift in the weight of the negative I WILL NEVER BE THIN evidence folder as it becomes lighter and the I CAN AND WILL LIVE MY LIFE AT MY IDEAL WEIGHT folder becomes heaver. And that ain’t stinky my dear Shifters, and it's certainly nothing to cry over!
Have a great onion-scented week!
oxox
Rita
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